A Raw Reality Check From My Bubble to Yours

This is going to be un-fluffy and truly my raw thoughts, but I have had some things on my mind I wanted to share in case some of it may resonate with you… and its long lol so buckle up!

I set a goal to send this email out every week on Sunday or Monday. While I was consistent for a long time maintaining that goal, this summer has proved to be distracting and more challenging to hit send on time. 

Last week felt especially hard for me. I have been mulling some thoughts over in my head and putting them to paper wasn’t happening. Easily, I will get down on myself for not meeting my goal. For not maintaining consistency. I watch other people in the fitness space post on their socials consistently, I see other businesses’ emails flow into my inbox on time, and I start to stew… Spiraling thoughts of what people will think. That I am not working hard enough, and everyone is noticing my failure. 

This type of spiral can be inserted into so many areas of my life and, as I have had many conversations over the last week related to this topic with close friends and family, I believe I am not alone.

The thing is, when I zoom out I can clearly see, it’s just not that serious, and life isn’t revolving around my email. But if I dig deeper, at the same time, there is nothing more serious about what is happening to our minds… 

While it’s important to keep yourself accountable and driven to your goals. There is also an element of realizing that the world doesn’t revolve around you. No one is checking off your track record of Monday email streaks. No one is taking away your fitness card when you miss a workout, or your super mom award when your house is messy and you grab take-out for dinner. Most people are really only thinking about themselves and the energy you are putting into torturing yourself over your failure and how it looks on the outside is a waste.

This is especially the case if you manage your connection appropriately…What I mean is, the more I pay attention, the clearer it becomes: we are too connected.

We give too much access to ourselves and we have too much access to other people’s opinions, highlight reels, and potential criticism. Hearing other perspectives, ideas and thoughts is great. We should be able to share freely. I see a problem in having too much access to too many thoughts, ideas and perspectives without the balance of real life connection. We can’t handle it. We’re not supposed to be able to process it all, and opening our world so big ends up leaving us feeling lost, lonely, and craving the “right direction.”

(P.s. I realize this email is also just me sharing my opinion so if you are feeling overloaded by all means leave it.)

Even in our THE BAR bubble sometimes the leaderboard is a double edge sword. We love being inspired by others for motivation, and that is valuable. However, it can quickly turn into feeling that other people’s wins are your losses. It’s a natural thought that we all have, even if we can rationally talk ourselves out of it. And if we can, how much time and energy do we use doing that in a day?

And if this is true inside our small community, imagine what a bigger world can do. Enter the greatest leaderboard of all…

The ever controversial but all consuming social media. The potential of spirals is vast. You are in combat mode 100% of the time protecting your heart and self worth, or you’re not. And you feel it. You feel the loss each post you pass or the loss of pride when the likes and comments don’t show up the way you hoped. Again I ask, how much time and energy are you in mental combat mode, or worse, digging into a deeper hole of heaviness?

Social media is literally designed to keep you out of your reality. It is designed to make you want things you don’t have and question what you’re doing and thinking so you keep searching for the answers. It can make you feel lost and lonely and confused about what you really want in life. It’s designed to glue you to your seat and stop living the life you have in front of you. 

I know this is a lot to take in but really that question is, what do we do about it? This is the part where my bossy vein is going to pop a bit, but it’s out of love and passion. And let me note, I am looking in the mirror as I say sternly… 

Stop trying to keep up with the Jones’s. Stop watching someone’s journey and thinking yours needs to look like that too or else it doesn’t count. Stop thinking that everything is about you, and everyone is keeping your life goals on the scoreboard. It’s all fruitless energy that only takes away from the energy you possess to live the beautiful life you have in front of you. The real life. 

-Your reality is yours for a reason. 

-Your goals are yours for a reason. 

-Your limitations are yours for a reason.

-The things you have worked for are yours because you wanted them enough to work for them for a reason.

Your path to find peace is not going to look like anyone else’s, so stop searching there. Stop searching in your feed, or next to you, or in the imaginary scenarios in your mind. None of it is real. None of it is for you. 

I can bet we all agree that the world needs more love and compassion for ourselves and for others. If you can love yourself enough to make other people’s lives and opinions none of your business, it gives you freedom to live yours. Love yourself enough to stay focused on you and your true desires. What you truly value and care about most and how YOU and YOUR life fits into that. If you are feeling down on your worth, Take a look at where you are seeking it. Evaluate what you are consuming, how much of it, and how much or your interactions are real life face to face connections. Eliminate the noise. Break yourself free from the constant combat. 

I don’t know where I land with social media. It’s a tough battle because this  tool can be so used for such good, but also can be this monster that is stealing our joy. It’s the way business works now, the way we share information for better or worse. For now, my plan of action is to set some serious boundaries around my consumption as well as my creation. I want to live a real life. I want to be present and intentional with my time. I want my world to be small enough to do so, and my mental space open. I want to be available for my community and my bubble, because truly, at the end of the day that’s all that matters.

I share my thoughts with you only to provoke your own thinking. I realize the contradictory undertone of this email, which seems to be the struggle of how we create a solution while still living in this society. Not sure or the answer to be honest, but I am ready for the exploration and open to ideas any of you may have. 😉 

If you made it this far, thank you for reading my essay ❤️ -Megg